


The Dark Floof Rises

by JunoInferno



Series: The Dark Floofs [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, a little anti cs, a little anti dark swan's look, and i wreak havoc with the timeline, hairdresser belle, oh and it's crack, regina critical just letting you know, sort of anti team heroes, the bear and the bow au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 04:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5233697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JunoInferno/pseuds/JunoInferno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the AU based on The Dark Floof, Belle has a different plan to retrieve her husband from the clutches of the Dark One and it involves fixing that hair...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dark Floof Rises

**Author's Note:**

> So, here is some crack based on my story The Dark Floof. The idea is that Belle spent the Curse as Mr. Gold's hairdresser and then things carried on slightly differently based on that. I know The Bear and The Bow was pretty good for Rumbelle, but I was dying to write this story and also the timeline is kind of messed up from the show. Please let me know what you think and happy reading!

 

  
Belle stormed off in a rage. Mary Margaret, David and Hook were left in confusion.

“Well, damn,” said Regina. “Now I’m stuck with you three morons.”

“Regina!,” Mary Margaret gasped.

“Come on, Regina. She’s so obsessed with saving the crocodile she can’t see him for the Dark One he truly is,” said Hook.

Regina snorted. “I don’t know if you’re one to talk about obsessions, pirate.”

“It is a little weird how she’s done nothing but put in leave-in conditioner since we returned from Camelot,” said David.

Regina shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s their thing. God knows I don’t want to know what you too get up to in your bed, but I do know that bookworm is usually the one who actually finds out what’s happening while the rest of you run around like headless chickens.” Regina paused. “That’s it.”

“What is?,” asked Mary Margaret.

Regina rushed out of her office without answering. She found Belle on the street.

“Belle!”

Belle turned around and threw her arms up.

“What? I’m not agreeing with you? Maybe you’d like to rip my heart out to get my cooperation?”

Regina hissed inwardly. That stung. “I'm sorry, I was doing what I had- what I thought I had to.”

“Did you ever stop and think that if you had behaved a little differently we could have prevented this whole situation? He needed help, Regina, not blackmail! He needed a bloody conditioning mask!”

“To be fair, I did think you had moved on with the, the-”

Belle rolled her eyes. “How could I possibly be serious about Will? He hardly has any hair!”

Regina frowned. “Will? That was his name? Why did I think it was Robby or... something?”

“Did you have a point?”

Regina smiled as she approached Belle. “The Dark One’s hair...”

Belle shook her head. “Oh, no, Regina, don’t you dare!”

“What sort of color is that? That bun? So severe, better suited to a prison matron.”

Belle closed her eyes.

“She needs help. Help that only you can give her.”

* * *

  
The Dark Swan stood in her lair. Rumplestiltskin was tied up behind her.

“You can go when you have done what I need.”

“Sorry, you busy?”

They both looked up to see Belle teetering in with her case of hairstyling accoutrements.

“Belle...” Rumple gasped.

Emma’s nostrils flared. “What are you doing here?,” she snarled.

“I want my husband back.”

“I’m not done with him.”

“Yeah, well, I’m the only one who gets to tie him up.”

Emma scrunched her nose.

“It’s the truth,” said Rumple.

“What do you want?,” Emma demanded.

“Well, I didn’t come empty-handed. I brought some conditioning treatments, curlers to get your waves back and some nice natural color.”

“This is who I am now. Why can’t people just accept that?”

Belle closed the distance between them, not backing off. “Because it looks terrible, Emma. Rumple, gods, he had style, he had flair, people always wondered what look he would have next. In our world and this one.” She turned to her husband. “Though I’m always a fan of the leather...”

“I like this me,” seethed Emma.

“You look like a low budget science fiction villain.”

Emma paused. “Really?”

Belle nodded.

“Does everyone think that?” She paused and turned to no one. “I wasn’t asking your opinion!”

“Uh, who are you talking to?,” asked Belle.

“The other Dark Ones,” Rumple answered.

“Oh,” said Belle.

“At least one of them never shuts up!,” Emma snapped.

“You know, that’s something we could talk about while I work,” said Belle. Emma turned back to face her. “What do you say? Your hair for my husband?”

“Deal.”

* * *

 

“So nobody likes the look?,” asked Emma.

Belle fastidiously applied the blonde hair color to Emma’s hair. “Well, they are a bit more concerned with you cursing the town, but no.”

Emma grimaced. “I modeled it on the most evil woman I could think of.”

“Who’s that?”

“Meryl Streep’s character in The Devil Wears Prada.”

Belle paused, glancing at her husband to commiserate. “You really never had any darkness in you before, did you?”

“Do you think I should have gone for the cleavage?,” asked Emma. “All the major villains seem to have a lot of it, I was trying to be different, but maybe it’s too different?”

“Well, you know what they say, a cliché is a cliché for a reason.”

“Rumplestiltskin, what do you think?,” asked Emma.

“I’ve never had any cleavage,” he answered.

Belle looked up. “That’s not entirely true. I loved the deep V-neck in your Neverland outfit as you may recall...”

“Oh, God,” muttered Emma. She turned to no one. “Shut up! I don’t want to hear it from you, either!”

“What’s happening?,” asked Belle.

Emma groaned. “Your not husband is talking about how you jumped his bones in the pawn shop...”

“Oh. So the memories of the Dark One include all of... that.”

“Yes, it’s the worst part.”

* * *

  
Several hours later, Belle sat putting Emma’s blonde again locks in curlers.

“I just don’t understand why Hook can’t accept that this is me,” said Emma.

“Maybe I’m the wrong one to ask, but he did spend centuries trying to kill the Dark One...” said Belle. “Incompetently, but he tried.”

“Well, that’s awkward,” said Emma.

Belle frowned. “Why is that awkward?”

“Never mind,” Emma said quickly.

“But you are right, you deserve someone who can love all of you,” said Belle.

Emma rolled her eyes. “Even if I’m the Dark One?”

“Especially if you’re the Dark One,” Belle answered. She looked over at her husband. “Whatever our problems were, it was never that I didn’t love him.”

* * *

 

An hour later, Belle had brushed out the curls into waves and applied a light bronzer and blush.

Emma examined herself in the mirror. “It will suffice.”

Belle put up the last of her equipment. “Now, I believe we had a deal.”

“Right, what’s left of your husband.”

Emma waved her hand and the restraints were released. Belle ran towards her husband and embraced him.

“Thank you, Belle.”

“It’s alright now, Rumple. We’re going home and I’m going to put a yogurt, olive oil and honey mask on your hair.”

“Thank you, Belle. It’s so dry in here.”

“I know, Rumple.”

“Not so fast.”

Belle turned to face Emma.

“Before you leave, you must pull Excalibur from this stone.”

“No,” Rumple gasped. “Please, anything but that-”

“You’re the only one who bothered to come after him and after all he’s done to you which makes you the only hero in this town.”

“Alright, but after this, you will leave us alone and do no harm to either one of us.”

“Given everything the Dark Ones have told me about you two, I would rather never see you again!” She snapped her head to the side. “Shut up! You already know what she looks like naked!”

“Do we have a deal?,” asked Belle.

“Belle, please, no,” said Rumple. “Leave me here if you must. Think of the Dalmatians if not yourself.”

“Don’t worry.” She turned back to Emma expectantly. “So?”

“We have a deal.”

Belle stepped up to the stone and quickly pulled Excalibur. Emma stared nonplussed.

“What? Like it’s hard?,” Belle asked, tossing it to the ground. “Come on, Rumple.”

“Yes, Belle.”

“You’re putting on the Neverland outfit tonight.”

“Yes, Belle.”

Emma groaned as they left.

She hated them so much, but at least her hair looked fabulous. 


End file.
